🔥 My 5 Most Powerful Transformations 🔥
How doing somatic bodywork changed my life
One of the main reasons I work as a trauma-release somatic bodyworker is because receiving somatic bodywork sessions healed me. Healed me in ways that nothing else has.
Trauma-release body de-armouring and holotropic breathwork sessions changed my life and I will share with you the most obvious 5.
There are no quick solutions or one-stop-shops when it comes to healing. It is a process and the length of this process is unique to every single person.
However, it is important to say that my transformation was more obvious and faster than with any talking therapy I’ve ever done. I felt changes within me even after 1 body de-armouring session. Please note that the transformations below were gradual and my wounds began to heal over a span of time (and continue to do so). Some changes felt quick, within months. Some wounds unwound over a span of years.
The power of somatic bodywork is undeniable. That is why I work as a somatic bodyworker. Because this healing modality actually works!
Here are 5 things which shifted for me:
#1 ❤️🩹 I healed a lot of my trauma
I grew up in a family with multiple narcissistic family members and layers of generational trauma. In other words, I am a child of narcissistic abuse. This led to a hyper-independence in adulthood with a sense of existential loneliness. I’ve learnt to survive on my own, never ask for help, and beg for love. Not to mention crippling self-doubt, inability to set boundaries and a lifelong depression. I’ve never felt good enough, EVER!
And since trauma sits in the body and the nervous system, just talking about my childhood in therapy felt pointless. During bodywork, I was finally able to release this trauma from my body and heart. I cried, I screamed, I shook my body, I punched pillows, I had intense visions, I even puked - over and over again. Over time, my self-doubt began to subside, boundaries became easier and my depression began to dissolve.
I often described my depression as a dark cloud above me which didn’t feel like it was my own cloud. As I healed, this cloud began to dissolve - it got smaller and smaller.
#2 ❤️🩹 I Met my Soulmate
Once the magnetic pull to narcissists was no longer working on me, I was able to walk away from my narcissistic ex. I promised myself to date intentionally looking for safety over chemistry; kindness over charm; consistent behaviour over pretty words; reality over potential. I also decided that the next person with whom I’ll have sex, will truly love me, not just be attracted to me. No more casual hookups!
In fact, one day, I had this huge feeling flush over me that I am not afraid to be single anymore. And that I’d rather be single than in a blah relationship ever again. (I was 37 at the time.) I no longer needed validation from men! I suddenly felt okay with however my life would turn out - if I never got married - no worries! If I dated 5 more people - great! If I got my heart broken again - no big deal! I was finally at peace. I even recorded a passionate voice message to my best friend. I met my husband 4 days later in a cafe in Oaxaca, Mexico. We sat down at the same community table and struck up a conversation. The rest is history ;)
#3 ❤️🩹 I Became Multi-Orgasmic
With bodywork, comes embodiment which means you are no longer stuck in your head with worry, anxiety, fear and insecurities 24/7. And this gives you the energy to finally feel yourself. As the mind quiets, the body awareness awakens.
You literally FEEL MORE!
The more bodywork sessions I did, the more I began to feel my body during sex. Most importantly, I stopped abandoning myself during sex by rushing my arousal or faking orgasms. I started to share confidently about what I like, what I don’t, what I need in bed. I was no longer afraid to disappoint a lover. If they don’t like something, they can leave. Easy peasy.
With every bodywork, my body became more and more sensitive and with that sensitivity (of the body but also towards my own feelings and needs) arrived intense pleasure and orgasms. I threw away all my vibrators around that time too. I no longer needed them.
This was also the inspiration for my famous Honey, I’m Cumming! course about how to have easy orgasms during partner sex.
#4 ❤️🩹 I Stopped Being such a Pushover
I used to be severely codependent, a chronic people pleaser and a doormat in relationships. I also had an unconscious attraction to narcissists (replaying childhood trauma in every relationship!) so almost every person I dated was low effort; used me for my body or money; cheated on me; and emotionally abused me. I would crawl barely alive from one narcissist straight into a relationship with a new narcissist. This cycle went on for almost 20 years of my adult life.
After doing a series of somatic bodywork (over a span of 2 years) I was able to shake, cry, and even puke this unworthiness out of my nervous system. I vividly recall during one of my sessions continuously spitting into a bucket (it was so weird and silly) and telling my facilitator “It feels like unworthiness is coming out of me.” It was.
With time I noticed how my sense of self worth improved and it showed up in various ways like feeling more confident in social situations, leaving unhealthy friendships, dumping my ex, feeling more brave setting boundaries, no longer chasing after people with whom I have to prove my worthiness.
#5 ❤️🩹 I healed my low self-esteem
Had you asked me 10 years ago if I love myself, I would have gotten very small and said no. I’ve lived my whole life never feeling good enough (this was my core wound!). You can imagine how this affected not only my personal life but my professional life too - because when you don’t love yourself, you allow others to hurt you and take advantage of you. You even hurt yourself.
But today, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I like me. In fact I think I’m pretty fucking dope! Not only do I like myself now, I also respect myself; I take care of myself; I don’t let anyone use me anymore.
There are many other things which have changed for me over the years but the above 5 are the most obvious.
I don’t even recognise myself anymore from the woman I used to be. Sometimes a memory arises in how I used to treat myself or allow others to treat me and I cringe. In those moments, I remind myself to be kind to that version of Elena. She was deeply wounded and scared. I am not anymore.
Truthfully, I don’t believe that I am super duper healed forever. I don’t think there is an end to healing in this life time. We are forever healing, evolving, maturing and growing.
What feels true in my heart though is that my codependency is 60-70% gone. And I am hyper aware of when my codependency gets triggered and have the tools to manage it. I am in the relationship of my dreams. My work fulfils me. My sex life is easy.
Life still has many many hardships (I don’t think those will end either…) but I am able to face them with more strength and resilience because I am finally my own best friend.
If I could summarize the power of somatic bodywork, it would be this - it makes you your own best friend.
I trust myself.
I love myself.
And this is exactly why I learned how to do trauma-release body de-armouring - so I can help other women free themselves from the trauma that shackles them. And to become their own best friend :)
Xxx, Elena
Appreciate your transparency…great share.
Yours is a beautiful story full of love , inspiration and wisdom, thank you 💗